Christmas Can Make You Feel Sad

on Thu 1 Dec


Hello everyone,

Welcome to this week’s blog. I hope everyone is feeling well and looking forward to the weekend; whatever it is you get up to make sure that you wrap up warm because it’s forecast to be a chilly one-unless you live in Spain and you’re looking about 20°C but make sure you take your raincoat out on Sunday.


Black Friday

It’s been almost a week since Black Friday, the day when the commercial world decides to kick-start the Christmas spending spree. Not enough with causing some mild panic about the inability to purchase some products and gifts and it’s compounded now by this new cyber Monday!  I wonder what’s next, what could they possibly call the days following? I’ve disagreed with the concept of Black Friday for a long time now, we all see pictures of the near riotous conditions when stores super discount items. But what is it that causes people to allow themselves into a near panic state? Well, it’s the same trick that the world of commerce and social media play on the unsuspecting all year long, but it’s just so much more effective at this time of the year. I’ll explain…



Let’s take an image of perfection, or perceived utopian perfection. The super glamorous and idolised modern pop singer, a role model for young girls and boys. They see the glitz, the glamour and the latest fashions, they see the beauty, the fantasy which drives the desire to emulate. So where is it that they see this? It’s all over the media isn’t it… Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Tumblr et cetera. People, themselves, society judging them, isn’t it any wonder why our youth decide that they need to adopt certain behaviours to make themselves acceptable for society, a social world of our own creation? Or was it our creation? To a certain extent yes, with all the demand for the new TV shows, designed to grab ratings.  With the birth of the Internet came a window into new worlds, and we wonder why we are affected.

I’d like now to take this and apply it to a different group of people who strive for perfection when faced with a vision of perfection.


Christmas Joy?

You see Black Friday is dressed up as an opportunity for you the poor consumer to grab a bargain, to make Christmas a special time and if you don’t manage to achieve this, then shame on you. Our high materialistic world drivers us.  There will be a percentage who even today and not looking forward to Christmas. They will be having feelings of not being good enough, of letting everyone down, their confidence and self-esteem a rock, sinking in a river of consumerism. No I’m not trying to be melodramatic, but this week I just like everyone to give some thought to the Christmas message before it all begins in earnest. Surely Christmas is a time when we think of other people, we considered those who aren’t as fortunate as ourselves and we try to spread a message of hope, of peace of love. Now this isn’t some utopian desire, no, this is the real meaning of Christmas. Yes of course we wish to treat those who we love the most with affection and to share a special day in the calendar together. I suppose what I’m trying to say is, these things and what’s important at this time of the year. It’s not society’s picture of an idyllic Christmas, of children ice skating on a frozen lake with a Christmas winter wonderland of snow lights and decorated trees all around, of carol singers carrying lanterns and drinking mulled wine and laughing before heading home to shower each other with lavish gifts. No.

Christmas is about feelings. It doesn’t matter what we buy, what we eat, what we give. It does matter how we feel and that should be love. Love for yourself and the person next to you and a smile, the feeling of contentment and peace - that’s Christmas.


So what now?

Of course, if you are suffering with feelings of not being good enough then I would like to help and hypnotherapy can be very effective to change thinking, behaviours, and perceptions - I’m ready to support and assist, you have my number here on the website and I work in both Southampton and London’s Harley Street.  However, there is another message that like to take this opportunity to pass on.


Crises at Christmas

Not many people know, but I do care deeply about the homeless. I want to feel like can make a difference no matter how small, often on a daily basis. I rarely give money but instead buy drinks and meals and I stop to listen to the story, this is a topic for another blog but at this time of year I do like to support the crisis Christmas appeal.  Instead of buying Christmas cards, I donate the money to crisis, personal feel it’s a much better spend of the money, and I’m going to put the link at the bottom of this blog – it doesn’t cost a lot and makes a difference.


So it’s 1 December, time to be the first I hope, no matter who you are or where you are, to wish you all a very peaceful Christmas season.


My very best wishes as always,




Credit to Kevin Dooley for the photo of Christmas (


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